Such unscientific things don’t exist.”

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missmollypond:

GUYS GUYS GUYS

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY WAS LITERALLY WRITTEN BY A FEMALE ROCKET SCIENTIST

SHE’S THE FIRST WOMAN TO EVER WRITE A MARVEL MOVIE

WHY IS THIS NOT GETTING TALKED ABOUT

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superb1a:

When you bullshit an essay and manage to get a good grade.image

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#me 


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peachy159:

imjohn-locked:

today this man decided to ruin our lives more than ever

[sigh] Yes. Yes he did.

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"I should much prefer to communicate with you alone, Mr Holmes."
I rose to go but Holmes caught me by the wrist and pushed me back into my chair. “It is both, or none,” said he. “You may say before this gentleman anything which you may say to me.”

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bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

image

When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

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tastefullyoffensive:

[bftugboat]
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